


Lifestyle Lingo
FOR LIFESTYLERS BY LIFESTYLERS
Lifestyle Socials is devoted to educating the members of our Online Community and Social Club. The following terminology, definitions and descriptions are of terms related to BDSM and Kink identifications, relationship orientations, sex models, relationship dynamics, love styles and lifestyles. The BDSM and Kink identifications, relationship orientations, sex models, relationship dynamics, love styles and lifestyles defined and described below can be practiced or lived by all individuals regardless of their age, race, cultural background, socioeconomic status, religion, or political affiliation. Our Online Community and Social Club members are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to learn more on their own as this list of terminology, definitions and descriptions IS NOT all-inclusive.
BDSM
A variety of often erotic roleplaying practices involving: bondage and discipline (B&D); dominance and submission (D/s); sadomasochism (S&M); master and sex slave; and other related interpersonal dynamics. It covers a huge range of tastes and activities, with endless variations. Including but not limited to: flogging, binding, degrading, humiliating, etc.
KINK
The use of non-traditional, unconventional or alternative sexual practices, concepts or fantasies as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" in one's sexual behavior, to contrast such behavior with "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behavior that has been claimed by some who practice sexual fetishism.
ETHICAL KINK
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There can be no grey area, or miscommunications in BDSM, kink, fetish or primal play dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity, especially when play involves consensual non-consent.
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All participants in a BDSM, kink, fetish or primal play dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity should continually practice consent.
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It is the responsibility of all participants involved in BDSM, kink, fetish or primal play dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity to communicate fully, openly and without hesitation.
FETISH
A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to a particular object, item of clothing, body part, etc.
BDSM & KINK GLOSSARY
24/7: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.
ABDL: Adult Baby/Diaper Lover is a form of age play.
ADULT BABY: Receives gratification from role-playing an infant during age play. This can involve submission on the adult baby's part. It is common that an adult baby will also be a diaper lover.
AFTERCARE: The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality.
AGE PLAY: A form of roleplaying in which an individual acts or treats another as if they are a different age.
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Age play is roleplaying between adults, and involves consent from all parties.
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Age play is not necessarily sexual.
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Portraying any age can be the goal of age play, from babies to a child to the elderly.
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Age play usually involves someone pretending to be younger than they actually are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role.
AGE PLAYER: A person who engages in role-playing where a different age is taken on by one or more of the participants.
B&D: Bondage and discipline.
babyboy: A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role-playing as a young boy. Also used as an endearment for a male-identified submissive.
babygirl: A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role-playing as a young girl. Also used as an endearment for a female-identified submissive.
BIG: A person who is nurturing and/or parental in a relationship dynamic.
BONDAGE: Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner. The practice of tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.
Bootblack: A person who specializes in polishing and/or spit-shining boots as part of play, for love of the craft, and/or as a way to give back to the kink community.
BOTTOM: One who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the receiving partner. A person who consensually agrees to give up control or receives the stimulation during kinky activities that may or may not include submission. A bottom IS NOT necessarily a submissive and may sometimes even be the person who is giving instructions.
BRAT: A person who likes to exhibit one or more of the following behaviors: teasing, playful, sneaky, mischievous, stubborn, rebellious, disrespectful, or disobedient. This behavior may be a component of their power exchange relationship.
BREATH CONTROL PLAY: Restriction of oxygen to heighten sexual arousal and orgasm. Methods to achieve this include strangulation, suffocation, and smothering.
CCC: Stands for committed, compassionate, consensual.
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This means that all parties are compassionately and consensually committed to each other in the sense that they have each other’s emotional and physical best interests and safety in mind.
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This philosophy the best in a CNC (consensual non-consent) situation, where the Dominant party should ensure the safety of the submissive party at all times, even in situations where the submissive can’t physically protect themselves.
CHASTITY: A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner. Often by means of a device that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock operated by the partner.
COLLARED: Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A Dominant may have multiple persons collared. Also: a pup's status, as differentiated from a "stray".
COLLARING: The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service. Also the ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub (much like a wedding or other contract).
CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT (CNC): Play where the parties agree to roleplay nonconsensual activities, such as kidnapping or rape.
CONSENT: Mutual agreement to terms of action as in a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.
CONTRAPOLAR STIMULATION: "Hurts so good!” A type of physical stimulation that incorporates feeling of both pleasure and pain.
D/s: Dominance and submission is a power-exchange dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity in which one individual submits to another. Love is typically the core value of D/s dynamics, relationships, scenes, or activities.
DADDY: A person who is nurturing and/or plays a paternal role in an age play dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
DDLG: Stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl, a subset of Dominance and submission. While this lifestyle may or may not involve age play, the name refers to the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student.
DIAPER LOVER: Receives gratification from the wearing and often using of diapers. It is common that a diaper lover will also be an adult baby.
DISCIPLINARIAN: A person who believes in or practices firm discipline.
DISCIPLINE: The practice where the Dominant sets rules for the submissive that they are expected to obey. When a submissive breaks a rule of expected behavior they are punished or disciplined.
DOLL: A person who enjoys objectification and wants to be transformed through one's own and/or outside forces into a living doll. Often paired with a Dollmaker.
DOM SPACE: The euphoric state of mind a dom may enter during a scene. May include an intensified perception of the scene.
DOMINANT (DOM/DOMME): A person who takes the superior position, power, authority, or control in a D/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
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DOM: A male-identifying person who takes the superior position, power, authority, or control in a D/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
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DOMME: A female-identifying person who takes the superior position, power, authority, or control in a D/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
DOMINANT VS TOP: The main difference between a Dominant and a Top is that the Dominant (Dom/Domme) ostensibly DOES NOT follow instructions, although they are limited by what the submissive is willing to do.
DUNGEON: Usually refers to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space.
DUNGEON MONITOR: A person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party or dungeon to enforce house rules – essentially, the bouncer of a BDSM event. They may also help in basic ways such as giving water to participants.
EDGE PLAY: SM play that involves a chance of harm, either physically or emotionally. The definition of edge play is subjective to the specific players (eg. what is risky for one person may not be as risky for another), there IS NOT a universal list of what is included in edge play. Examples may included bloodplay and gunplay.
EDGING: The act of stopping sexual stimulation just before a person climaxes.
EROTIC HUMILIATION: Humiliating someone during a sexual act. This act could be either verbal or physical for example, insulting a partner, making a partner display their private parts to a group of people, or even urinating or defecating on a partner. It can be a great source of pleasure for some people. There must be boundaries, safe words, and limits because without caution this play can destroy a relationship or a partner's self-esteem.
EROTIC SEXUAL DENIAL: Keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity.
EROTIC SPANKING: The act of spanking another person for the sexual arousal or gratification of either or both parties.
FAIRY KINK MOTHER: An older, perhaps more knowledgeable & experienced, woman who takes on a caring, nurturing role to others in the scene. A fairy kink mother is someone you can go to for help and advice within a kink scene.
FEMINIZER: A person who likes to transform men into feminine beings by modifying their appearance, behavior and mindset.
FETHISH WEAR: Any style or appearance in the form of a type of clothing or accessory, created to be extreme or provocative in a fetishistic manner.
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These styles are by definition NOT worn by the majority of people; if everyone wears an item, it cannot have fetishistic, special nature.
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They are usually made of materials such as leather, latex or synthetic rubber or plastic, nylon, PVC, spandex, fishnet, and stainless steel.
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Some fetish fashion items include: stiletto heel shoes and boots (most notably the ballet boot), hobble skirts, corsets, collars, full-body latex catsuits, stockings, miniskirt, crotch-less underwear, jockstraps, diapers, garters, locks, rings, zippers, eyewear, handcuffs, and stylized costumes based on more traditional outfits, such as wedding dresses that are almost completely see-through lace, or lingerie for men.
FETHISHIST: A person who is aroused by objects or nonsexual parts of the body.
FISTING: Inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.
FUCK TOY: Someone who allows another person, generally a Dominant or Top that owns them, use their body for sexual gratification at the Dominant/Top’s whims. It can include specific positions preferred and letting their body go limp to be moved like a toy. Fucktoys can be subjected to dollification and bimbofication by their Dominant, Top, or Owner. Fucktoys can also be slutted out for others to use as part of a scene, punishment, reward, or rule set within their dynamic.
FURRY: A person who enjoys artwork and other media containing anthropromorphic animals or creatures. Typically has a "fursona" or "furry persona". Some furries wear costumes ranging from full suits to more token pieces.
GOLDEN SHOWERS: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person.
GOREAN: A subgenre based upon the rituals and practices created within the world of Gor in the erotic novels by John Norman. Though separate from the BDSM community, the two communities may share similarities especially in Master/slave relationships.[
HANDLER: A person with a dominant role in a pet play dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
HARD LIMITS: What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable (as opposed to "soft limits").
HIGH PROTOCOL: Refers to groups or individuals that adhere to strict roles and role-based rules of conduct.
HOGTIE: Tying up a submissive's wrists and ankles, fastening them together behind their back using physical restraints such as rope or cuffs.
IMPACT PLAY: Part of sensation play, dealing with impacts such as those from whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc.
kajira: A female owned-property slave, as per the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels.
kajirus: A male owned-property slave, as per the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels.
KINBAKU: Literally means "tight binding." Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage or BDSM which involves tying up the bottom using simple yet visually intricate patterns. Also referred to as shibari.
KINKSTER: A person who doesn’t want to define their role while engaging in power exchange, authority-exchange, role play, sadomasochism, cross-dressing, and/or fetishes.
KINKY SEX: Any sexual act that is generally considered to be unconventional.
kitten: A person who enjoys roleplay as a kitten or cat.
KNIFE PLAY: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.
LEATHER bottom: A person within the leather community or tradition who receives kinky activities from someone.
LEATHER DADDY: An authority figure who plays a paternal role within the leather community or tradition.
LEATHER MOMMY: An authority figure who plays a maternal role within the leather community or tradition.
LEATHER TOP: A person within the leather community or tradition who performs kinky activities on someone.
LEATHERBOI: A submissive person within the leather community or tradition who may be submissive or in a subordinate role, and often doesn't identify with binary gender labels.
LEATHERBOY: A submissive male-identifying person within the leather community or tradition; usually seeking a paternal/maternal figure.
LEATHERGIRL: A submissive female-identifying person within the leather community or tradition; usually seeking a paternal/maternal figure.
LEATHERMAN: A male-identifying person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs ("biker culture") after World War II.
LEATHERWOMAN: A female-identifying person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs ("biker culture") after World War II.
LITTLE: A person who identifies with or enjoys exhibiting a child-like mindset and/or behaviors. Their relationships may or may not include a power exchange component.
LIMITS: What someone will not participate in (hard limits), or is hesitant to do so (soft limits).
LOW PROTOCOL: Refers to groups or individuals that are more relaxed.
M/s: Master and sex slave is a consensual authority-exchange BDSM dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity in which one person serves another. Service and obedience are typically the core values of M/s dynamics, relationships, scenes, or activities.
MASOCHISM: Act of receiving pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation.
MASOCHIST: Person who enjoys pain, often sexually. A masochist is a person who participates in BDSM that enjoys consensually receiving humiliation or pain from someone, whether it’s emotionally, mentally, or physically.
MASTER/MISTRESS: A person who takes ownership rights of a service slave or sex slave in an M/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
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MASTER: A male-identifying person who takes ownership rights of a service slave or sex slave in an M/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
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MISTRESS: A female-identifying person who takes ownership rights of a service slave or sex slave in an M/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
MASTER/slave: A consensual relationship in which one person receives control (the Master) when given it by another (the slave) for mutual benefit with a focus on service and obedience. The slave will often accept a collar from their Master to show that they are owned.
MDLB: Stands for Mommy Domme/Little Boy, the female led version of DDLG, a subset of Dominance and submission. While this lifestyle may or may not involve age play, the name refers to the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student.
MIDDLE: A person who identifies with or exhibits a younger mindset and/or behaviors, but feels more like a teen or pre-teen than a little.
MOMMY: A person who is nurturing and/or plays a maternal role in an age play dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
MUMMIFCATION: Full body bondage that completely immobilizes the one wrapped up.
MUNCH: A group of people that practice BDSM meeting at a "vanilla" place in street-appropriate attire. Sometimes this is a club.
NEEDLE PLAY: Temporary piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene.
PAIN PLAY: A class of activities meant to impart physical pain upon a partner, as opposed to mental forms of erotic play such as power exchange or sexual roleplaying.
PAIN SLUT: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain.
PEGGING: A sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo.
pet: A person who may or may not identify with animal play who is treated like they are beloved and owned.
PET PLAY: One of the most commonly known kinks in the BDSM world. This kink effectively involves two or more people role-playing as certain animals. Pet play will often involve one person pretending to be a submissive animal, such as a dog, while the other will play the dominant role of a dog owner. Other forms of pet play include both or all parties role-playing as Dominant and submissive animals.
PET PLAY VS PRIMAL PLAY: The main difference between Pet Play and Primal Play is that primal play is undoubtedly the rougher and more violent kink compared to pet play. Unlike pet play, primal play isn’t necessarily about pretending to be animals. Sometimes, primals will role-play as animals, but that’s not always the case. In a lot of cases, primals will simply play a predatory human or human prey.
PLAY PARTY: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in scenes. Generally there is an area for drinking and socializing, an area for changing into more appropriate attire (such as fetish wear), and an area for "play" or sexually arousing activities.
pony: A person who enjoys roleplay as a pony or horse.
ponyboy: A male sub dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
ponygirl: A female sub dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
PRICK: Stands for Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink. A BDSM safety philosophy.
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PRICK came about as an improvement to RACK.
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PRICK states if everyone takes personal responsibility by informing themselves of the risks involved, then you can have consensual kink.
PRIMAL: A person who rejects rules, traditions and protocols and prefers to self-define their role, often associated with foundational and/or animalistic instincts, behaviors, and desires.
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PRIMAL PREY: This is an optional role within the primal play kink community. Some couples or groups will blend primal play with pet-play by role-playing as certain animals depending on their submissive or dominant role. Examples of this include cat and dog, cat and mouse, human and pet, and more. The act of role-playing becomes far more violent and fearful in primal play, which is enhanced by the acts of biting, growling, and scratching.
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PRIMAL PREDATOR: A primal who enjoys hunting and attempting to capture prey. Their role is to “chase” or “hunt” their prey with the aim of overpowering and consuming them. This can be achieved by fighting, wrestling, scratching, biting, growling, and more.
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PRIMAL PREY: A primal who enjoys being hunted by a predator. Their role is to enjoy the chase with the ultimate aim of being devoured by the predator, but this doesn’t mean they can’t put up a good fight. In some cases, the lines between predator and prey can be blurred before the prey becomes submissive.
PRIMAL PLAY: A sexual kink that based on a dominant and submissive relationship through the roles of predator and prey. Primal play encourages the people involved to act in an animalistic, instinctive, and primitive way. There are many ways for a couple or group of people to have primal play sexual relations, but the most common form of primal play is between predator and prey.
PRINCESS: A person who requires a very particular treatment of praise, care, and attention.
PRO DOM: A male professional dominant, charges money.
PRO DOMME: A female professional dominant, charges money.
pup: A person who enjoys roleplay as a puppy or dog.
pup play: Play where the sub acts like a puppy, has association with the gay leather scene.
RACK: Stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. A BDSM safety philosophy.
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RACK philosophical view that is generally permissive of certain risky sexual behaviors, as long as the participants are fully aware of the risks.
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RACK states if everyone takes personal responsibility by informing themselves of the risks involved, then you can have consensual kink.
ROLE PLAY: Involves two or more people who act out roles in an erotic or sexual fantasy. Roleplay is commonly used as a form of foreplay.
RIGGER: A person who practices the art of bondage and applies functional or artistic rope bondage (sometimes referred to as "human macramé") to another person's body for photographic, performance, artistic, educational, spiritual, erotic or sexual purposes.
ROPE BONDAGE: Tying someone with ropes.
ROPE BOTTOM: A person who receives rope bondage for sexual or nonsexual pleasure.
ROPE BUNNY: A popular alternative for Rope Bottom, often a model for performance, photography, or demos.
ROPE TOP: A person who performs rope bondage for sexual or nonsexual pleasure.
S&M: Sadomasochism is the giving or receiving of pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain and/or humiliation.
SADOMASOCHIST: A person who enjoys and engages in sadism and/or masochism.
SADISM: The act of receiving pleasure from inflicting pain.
SADIST: A person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually. A sadist is a person who participates in BDSM that enjoys inflicting humiliation or pain on someone, whether it’s emotionally, mentally, or physically. A sadist may also take pleasure in seeing others in pain and discomfort.
SAFEWORD: A codeword a bottom can use to force BDSM activity to be decreased in intensity or be stopped outright – used especially in scenes which may involve consensual force.
SCAT PLAY: Refers to play with or involving feces.
SCENE: Refers to the setting and participation of a BDSM activity.
SENSATION PLAY: A class of activities meant to impart physical sensations upon a partner, as opposed to mental forms of erotic play such as power exchange or sexual roleplaying.
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Sensation play can be sensual, where the sensations are generally pleasing and light.
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Sensation play may involve the use of silk scarves, feathers, ice, massage oils, and other similar implements.
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Sensation play in BDSM can also involve sadomasochistic play, involving the application of carefully controlled stimuli to the human body so that it reacts as if it were actually hurt.
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While sensation play can involve the infliction of actual pain, it is usually done in order to release pleasurable endorphins, creating a sensation somewhat like runner's high or the afterglow of orgasm.
SENSUALIST: A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of sensual pleasures and interests.
SERVICE submission: A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.
SERVICE TOP: Tops who negotiate custom activities and/or intensity for the enjoyment of the consenting bottom(s) and themselves without the need for a dynamic.
sex slave: A person who participates in BDSM that consensually becomes property of a Master/Mistress in an M/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
SEXUAL SLAVERY: Is both a sexual fantasy and sexual roleplay in a BDSM context. The Master or Mistress might be any person or group, though the majority of such relationships are usually either one dominant, or a committed dominant couple, owning one or more slaves.
SISSY: A male-identified person who engages in feminization and sometimes humiliation in order to reach a different emotional or mental state.
slave: A submissive who consensually gives up total control of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Master). A slave is person who consensually agrees to give total control to someone who they are in an M/s relationship with.
SOFT LIMITS: Something that someone is hesitant to do or is nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, but it is preferable if it is negotiated into a scene at a trial stage or at beginner level.
SPANKEE: A person who enjoys being spanked.
SPANKER: A person who enjoys spanking others.
SPANK BOI: A person with a strong interest in spanking and/or being spanked, but often doesn't identify with binary gender labels.
SSC: Stands for Safe Sane Consensual. The most common BDSM safety philosophy.
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SAFE: The risk of activities is understood by all participants and is either eliminated, or reduced as much as possible.
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SANE: All participants approach activities in a sensible and realistic frame of mind, and with an understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality.
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CONSENSUAL: All participants have freely consented to the activity and are in a state of mind to do so.
SUBDROP: A physical condition, often with cold- or flu-like symptoms, experienced by a submissive after an intense session of BDSM play. This can last for as long as a week, and is best prevented by aftercare immediately after the session.
SUBMISSIVE (SUB): A person who consensually agrees to take the subordinate position, submit or relinquish control in a D/s dynamic, relationship, scene, or activity.
SUBMISSIVE VS BOTTOM: The main difference between a submissive and a bottom is that the submissive (sub) ostensibly DOES NOT give instructions, although they do set limits on what the Dominant can do.
SWITCH: A person who participates in relationships, scenes, and activities as a Dominant or submissive depending on their mood, partner, or the situation. Some switches enjoy changing their power dynamic during the scene.
THE 4C'S: Stands for Caring, Communication, Consent and Caution. A BDSM safety philosophy.
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This safety philosophy hits on the safety and consent that the other philosophies include, but it also adds in caring and communication.
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This philosophy states that a focus on caring for your partner means you take the time to learn and build trust with each other(s); that you focus on communication and negotiation as a forefront; and that you make it a point to share your thoughts and opinions.
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Being aware and understanding the risks involved is just as important as giving consent.
THE NEXT GENERATION: A tag commonly used by groups and organizations which cater to younger people involved in BDSM, typically ages 18–35.
TNG: The Next Generation.
TOP: A person who is consensually in control of the action during kinky activities and gives stimulation to another. A top IS NOT necessarily dominant and may sometimes even be the person who is following instructions.
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SERVICE TOP: A person who simultaneously adopts the roles of top and submissive
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TOP FROM BOTTOM: A person who simultaneously adopts the roles of bottom and dominant.
TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE: A relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions.
TOY: One who is treated and played with like a toy instead of a person.
TPE: Total Power Exchange.
TRAINING: Either referring to a short period of time, or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the submissive how to behave for their own preferences.
VERSE: A person who participates in relationships, scenes, and activities as a Top or bottom depending on their mood, partner, or the situation. Some switches enjoy changing their power dynamic during the scene.
WAX PLAY: The top drips hot wax on the bottom.
WORSHIPPER: A person who fervently reveres and admires someone they are in a relationship with.

