FOR LIFESTYLERS BY LIFESTYLERS

 

Lifestyle Socials is devoted to educating the members of our Online Community and Social Club. The following terminology, definitions and descriptions are of terms related to Polyamorous identifications, relationship orientations, sex models, relationship dynamics, love styles and lifestyles. The consensually Polyamorous identifications, relationship orientations, sex models, relationship dynamics, love styles and lifestyles defined and described below can be practiced or lived by all individuals regardless of their age, race, cultural background, socioeconomic status, religion, or political affiliation. Our Online Community and Social Club members are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to learn more on their own as this list of terminology, definitions and descriptions IS NOT all-inclusive.

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POLYAMORY

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy.

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ETHICAL POLYAMORY

Ethical Polyamory is a form of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) in which a person is in multiple open romantic and emotionally intimate long-term relationships simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved.

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RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY (RA)

 

• Relationship Anarchy is a practice in which people are seen as free to engage in any relationships they choose.

• Relationship Anarchists believe spontaneity and freedom are desirable and necessary traits in healthy relationships.

• Relationship Anarchists believe that no relationship should be entered into or restricted from a sense of duty or obligation.

• Relationship Anarchists believe that any relationship choice is (or should be) allowable.

• Relationship Anarchists believe that there IS NOT necessarily a clear distinction between “partner” and “non-partner.”

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POLYAMORY GLOSSARY

 

AMBIGUSWEETIE: A partner with whom one’s relationship is ambiguous or not clearly defined, often intentionally; more than simply friends but not quite partners.

 

BIGAMY: A relationship in which one person is married to two spouses, regardless of the sex of those spouses. 

 

BIPOLY: Related to an individual who is both bisexual and polyamorous.

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BIPOLY SWITCH: Related to an individual who is bisexual, polyamorous and a BDSM switch.

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​BROTHER-HUSBAND: The term used to describe a platonic, brotherly, non-sexual relationship between two or more men in a polyamorous relationship with one woman.

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​CELLULAR FAMILY: A family of three or more adults (and optionally children) who live together or near one another, share responsibility for joint finances and/or domestic responsibilities, and consider themselves to be part of a single family unit.

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​​CLOSED GROUP MARRIAGE: A polyfidelitous relationship in which all the adult members consider themselves to be married.

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CLOSED MINDED: Traditionally the term ‘Closed Minded’ has described the mindset of a person who IS NOT accepting or tolerant of ideas and concepts outside of their current mindset.

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​CLUSTER MARRIAGE: A polyamorous relationship in which two or more married couples cohabitate and exchange partners. 

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​CORPORATE MARRIAGE: A group marriage whose adult members register the union as a legal corporation, the terms of which spell out the financial entanglements and obligations of all the adult members.

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CO-HUSBAND: A man in a group marriage who shares a spouse in common with at least one other man in that group marriage.

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CO-PRIMARY: A person who is one of two or more primary partners in a polyamorous relationship.

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CO-SPOUSE: A person in a group marriage who shares a spouse in common with at least one other person in that group marriage.

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CO-WIFE: A woman in a group marriage who shares a spouse in common with at least one other woman in that group marriage.

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COWBOY: The colloquial term for a monogamous male who intentionally gets into relationships with females who are in polyamorous relationships. The male gets into these relationships with the goal of extracting the female from her other partners and securing her in a monogamous relationship.

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COWGIRL: The colloquial term for a monogamous female who intentionally gets into relationships with males who are in polyamorous relationships. The female gets into these relationships with the goal of extracting the male from his other partners and securing him in a monogamous relationship.

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CROSS-COUPLE: Related to activities between a member of one couple and a member of another couple.

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DELTA: A type of polyamorous relationship, specifically a triad, which involves three people who are emotionally and/or sexually involved with all other members of the relationship.

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DEMOCRATIC FAMILY: A family, typically a family practicing group marriage, in which all the adult members are considered equal.

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EGALITARIAN POLYAMORY: An intimate polyamorous relationship structure that is fair, equitable, and in which all partners have equal importance and power. These polyamorous relationships can be open or closed. Partners are equally important.

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FOUR-CORNERED MARRIAGE: A group marriage with exactly four adult members; usually but not always a group marriage with two men and two women.

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FREE AGENT: A person who practices polyamory in a way that tends to separate or isolate all of their romantic relationships from one another, treating each as a separate entity. Free Agents often present themselves as “single” or behave in ways that are typically associated with the behavior of a single person even when they have romantic partners, and often does not consider the potential impact of new relationships upon existing relationships when deciding whether or not to pursue those new relationships.

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FREE LOVE: The belief that sexual relationships should be unrestricted and disassociated from ideas of love, commitment, marriage, or obligation. Many advocates of free love object to the concept of marriage altogether, as they see it as a way to impose constraints and obligation on sexuality.

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FREEMATE: The term which is used to define a non-married partner within a group relationship. It is standard practice for the freemate to have less responsibility and involvement in the day to day activities of the group relationship

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GROUP MARRIAGE: A relationship in which three or more people consider themselves married to one another. In the polyamory community, most often a relationship involving one man and multiple women, who may live together, share finances, raise children together, and otherwise share those responsibilities normally associated with marriage. 

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HIERARCHICAL POLYAMORY: An intimate polyamorous relationship structure where the people involved are ranked according to emotional involvement, logistic involvement, financial entanglement or ground rules within relationships, and some partnerships take priority over others. These polyamorous relationships can be open or closed. Partners arranged in order of importance eg. Primary, Secondary, Tertiary.

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HINGE: A colloquial term which refers to the central member of a Vee relationship. The hinge is the pivotal person in the relationship, he/she is bonded to each of the other members of the Vee more than they are to one another. Refers to the person in a Vee polyamorous relationship who has two partners. Also known as "pivot".

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INTIMATE NETWORK: A colloquial term which is used in polyamorous communities to describe the interconnection of the various partners within a person’s polyamorous network. The sum total of a person’s partners, those partners’ partners, and so on.

 

• The term intimate network is most often used to describe the set of romantic, emotionally intimate and sexual relationships and friendships involved in an open polyamorous relationship structure.

• The term intimate network is typically used to describe the variety of friendships and connections found within an open polyamorous relationship dynamic.

 

KITCHEN TABLE POLYAMORY: Refers to polyamorous relationships where everyone in the polycule is comfortable sitting together at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.

 

• A style of polyamory that emphasizes family-style connections even among people in a network who are not dating each other.

• The entire polycule gets along well enough that they could sit down at the kitchen table together. Close relationships between metamours and telemours are strongly encouraged.

• People who prefer kitchen table polyamory want to know and be friends with their metamours and telemours.

• The separate relationships progress and connect to each other.

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​METAMOUR: The term which describes a partner’s other partners or lovers. In a polyamorous relationship, a partner will simultaneously be a metamour and have multiple metamours. Your partner’s partner.

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MOLECULE: An umbrella term which is used to describe a type or subset of a polyamorous relationship. Triads, Quads, and Vees are all different types of molecules. 

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MONO/POLY RELATIONSHIPS: One in which one partner is monogamous and one partner is polyamorous.

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MOST SIGNIFICANT OTHER: A person’s primary partner in a hierarchical polyamorous relationship.

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MSO: Most Significant Other.

 

NESTING PARTNERSHIPS: When two or more people in an intimate polyamorous relationship have made — or are making plans for — cohabitation and shared finances.

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OMNIGAMY: Related to having multiple spouses of both sexes.

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OPEN MARRIAGE: A marital relationship in which the parties agree that extramarital sexual activity, (sex outside of the partnership) is permitted and not considered to be cheating or infidelity.

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• A marriage whose structures or arrangements permit one or both of the members involved to have outside romantic, emotionally intimate and/or sexual relationship.

• A catchall for marriages that are not romantically, emotionally or sexually monogamous, and may include such activities as polyamory or swinging.

• Sometimes used as a synonym for polyamory, though this is not necessarily the case.

• Some marriages may be open but not polyamorous (as in swinging relationships that prohibit romantic involvement and/or emotional entanglement with anyone outside the marriage).

• Other marriages may be polyamorous but not open (as in polyfidelitious relationships that prohibit romantic involvement, emotional entanglement and/or sexual activity outside the polycule).

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OPEN MINDED: Traditionally the term ‘Open Minded’ has described the mindset of a person who DOES NOT dismiss ideas or concepts that may not fit within their preconceived ideas or notions.

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• To be open minded is to have an unrestricted and unbiased view on sexuality and life in general.

• People who are open minded will often blur the lines of sexual preference and will constantly be willing to try new things throughout their lives.

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OPEN NETWORK: a relationship structure in which the people involved are free to add new partners as they choose. This is a very common form for polyamorous relationships.

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OPEN POLY RELATIONSHIP: A polyamorous relationship in which committed partners mutually agree that all partners involved can have committed romantic, emotionally intimate and/or sexual relationships with multiple people at once.

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OSO: Other Significant Other.

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OTHER SIGNIFICANT OTHER:  A person's secondary or tertiary partner in a hierarchical polyamorous relationship.

 

PARALLEL POLYAMORY: Refers to polyamorous relationships where the relationships run in parallel.

 

• A style of polyamory in which the relationships a person has are largely independent of one another.

• People who prefer parallel polyamory don't want to know or be friends with their metamours and/or telemours.

• The separate relationships progress and don't connect to each other.

• Each individual relationship exists largely independent of either partner's additional romantic, emotionally intimate or sexual relationships, and there is not an intentional focus on entwining the polycule.

• There maybe little or no contact between metamours and/or telemours.

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​POLY FUCKERY:  A coarse colloquial term sometimes used to describe people who call themselves polyamorous while engaging in a large number of sexual relationships which are short-lived or not emotionally intimate.

 

POLY SWING: An intimate polyamorous relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to allow sexual activity with people outside of the polycule. These are open polyamorous relationships.

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POLY VIRGIN: A person who has never been in a polyamorous relationship.

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POLY WOG: A colloquial term that can be used to describe a new member to a polyamorous relationship, a new member of the wider poly-community, or a child who lives in a polyamorous household. The term was coined in the 1800’s as a derogatory term but was claimed by the poly-community and redefined as a means to rebuke outdated, negative sentiments associated with the word.

 

POLYAFFECTIVE: An emotional, nonsexual relationship between two or more metamours in a polycule.

 

POLYANDRY: Polygamy in which a woman has more than one husband.

 

POLYCULE: A connected network of people in polyamorous relationships, or a particular subset of relationships within a romantic network whose members are closely connected.

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POLYEROCIST: A person who has sex with multiple partners. This person can be in any configuration of polyamorous relationship.

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​POLYFAMILY: A set of polyamorous people who live together and identify as part of the same family. A polyamorous group whose members consider one another to be family, regardless of whether or not they share a home.

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POLYFIDELITY:  An intimate polyamorous relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict romantic involvement, emotional intimacy and sexual activity to only other members of the polycule. These are closed polyamorous relationships.

 

POLYGAMY: The practice or custom of having more than one spouse, wife or husband at the same time.

POLYGYNY: Polygamy in which a man has more than one wife.

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POLYKOITY: The practice of having more than one romantic or sexual partner, either at the same time or over the course of one’s lifetime, without regard to the relationship with those partners or their relationships with each other.

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POLYSATURATED: Related to being polyamorous, but not currently seeking or open to new relationships because of the number of existing partners, or because of time constraints that might make new relationships difficult to prioritize.

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POLYSEXUAL: Related to polyamorous relationships which are sexually non-monogamous but which are not romantic or emotionally intimate.

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POLYTROTHISM: The practice of maintaining multiple egalitarian relationships, each of which is equal with respect to decision-making and other practical matters.

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POLYUNSATURATED: Related to being polyamorous, and currently seeking or open to new relationships.

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PRIMARY PARTNERSHIP: The closest romantic polyamorous relationship type. Primary partner(s) are given the most time, energy and priority in a person’s life. This includes high levels of attention, emotional intimacy, affection, commitment and financial entanglement. Primary partners often live together and may be bonded by marriage, civil union, domestic partnership or a commitment ceremony.

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PUPPY-PILE: Refers to polyamorous relationships in which all of the people involved, are to some degree, romantically, emotionally and/or sexually involved with one another, with the implication that the people involved may share sex and/or sleeping space (hence, “all in one puppy pile”).

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​QUAD: Describes a four person polyamorous relationship. A serious polyamorous relationship between four people. Usually, refers to a relationship where all four people are actively involved with each other. Quads often form when two polyamorous couples take an interest in one another. Quads are closed polyamorous relationships.​

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​SECONDARY PARTNERSHIP: A moderately close romantic polyamorous relationship. Secondary partner(s) typically have fewer expectations placed upon them with regards to attention, emotional intimacy, affection, commitment, financial entanglement, or some combination of these things. Secondary partners ARE a consistent part of each other's lives, provide financial support on occasions and share life paths.

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​SECONDARY SIGNIFICANT OTHER: A romantic partner other than one’s primary partner or spouse. 

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​​SISTER-WIFE: The term used to describe a platonic, sisterly, non-sexual relationship between two or more women in a polyamorous relationship with one man.

 

​SOLO POLYAMORY:

• Solo Polyamory is practiced by a single person who might want to settle down some day but for now wants to play the field with casual connections;

• Solo Polyamory is practiced by a single person who has deeply committed, emotionally intimate, and lasting romantic relationships with one or more people;

• Solo Polyamory is practiced by an uncoupled or unpartnered individual that has, pursues or desires many romantic or sexual relationships with little or no commitment.

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SSO: Secondary Significant Other.

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​TELEMOUR: The partner of your partner's partner.

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​TERTIARY RELATIONSHIP: A casual romantic polyamorous relationship. Tertiary partner(s) typically receive attention, emotional intimacy, affection or sex on a highly erratic schedule. Tertiary partners ARE NOT a consistent part of each other's lives, financially entangled or sharing life paths.

 

​THIRD: A person joining an established couple in a Vee or Triad polyamorous relationship.

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​TRIAD: Defined as a polyamorous relationship/union with exactly three people. A serious polyamorous relationship dynamic that is commonly understood as a domestic arrangement and committed relationship involving three people who are actively involved with each other. Triads are typically a traditional marriage or dyadic relationship between a man and woman along with another individual who live together. Also known as "delta", "throuple" or "ménage à trois" from the French meaning "household of three". Triads are usually closed polyamorous relationships.

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​TRIBE: A set of people in an intimate network.

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​TROLLER: A person who infiltrates the polyamorous community trolling for NSA sexual relationships.

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UNICORN: In the context of polyamory: the term unicorn was coined due to the expectation that the female entering the existing relationship abstain from developing any form of emotional attachment and is only a participant in the sexual aspect of the relationship.

 

• For a woman to become a unicorn she MUST be willing to have a sexual relationship with both the male and female in an existing relationship.

• For a woman to become a unicorn she MUST NOT partake in the emotional aspect of the relationship.

• For a woman to become a unicorn she MUST NOT do anything that may jeopardize the couple’s existing relationship.

 

​UNICORN HUNTERS: A polyamorous couple looking for a woman who is 'disposable' with whom they can create an unequal or ‘weighted’ triad, a polyamorous relationship structure in which the original dyad has a disproportionate amount of power, and the unicorn has none.

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​UNICORN HUNTING: A frowned upon polyamorous practice wherein a couple will actively seek unicorns to join their relationship on a temporary basis in an unequal relationship dynamic.

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​VEE: A colloquial term for a polyamorous relationship involving three people. The way a Vee works is that one person is sexually and romantically involved with the other two partners, but they are not sexually and romantically involved with one another. A serious polyamorous relationship dynamic that is commonly understood as a domestic arrangement and committed relationship involving three people, where two people are both dating one person (the hinge) but not each other. Vees are usually open polyamorous relationships.

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​VETO: A relationship agreement, most common in hierarchical polyamorous relationships, which gives one person the power to end another person’s additional relationships, or in some cases to disallow specific activity, such as some specific sexual or BDSM-related activity. A veto may be absolute, in which one partner may reject another partner’s additional relationships unconditionally, or may be conditional and used more as a way to indicate a serious problem within a relationship.