FOR LIFESTYLERS BY LIFESTYLERS

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Lifestyle Socials is devoted to educating the members of our Online Community and Social Club. The following terminology, definitions and descriptions are of terms related to Non-Monogamous identifications, relationship orientations, sex models, relationship dynamics, love styles and lifestyles. The Non-Monogamous identifications, relationship orientations, sex models, relationship dynamics, love styles and lifestyles defined and described below can be practiced or lived by all individuals regardless of their age, race, cultural background, socioeconomic status, religion, or political affiliation. Our Online Community and Social Club members are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to learn more on their own as this list of terminology, definitions and descriptions IS NOT all-inclusive.

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NON-MONOGAMY

An umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non-dyadic intimate relationship that DOES NOT strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange sex, love, and/or affection.

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CONSENSUAL NON-MONOGAMY

A form of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) in which people know and consent to be in a sexually non-monogamous casual or committed relationship.

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NON-MONOGAMY GLOSSARY

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BLOW BANG: A sexual activity in which one person, typically a female, is performing fellatio on several male participants, usually more than three, sequentially or simultaneously.

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BUKKAKE: A type of gang bang originating in Japan that focuses on the central person being ejaculated upon by male participants.

 

​BULL: A dominant, well-endowed single man who engages in consensual sex with women eg. Hot-wives, Vixens, etc. whose partner enjoys the cuckold or Stag dynamic.

 

​CASUAL DATING: Defined as a liberal way of practicing dating. Someone who engages in casual dating will often have numerous sexual partners at the same time as having a partner who they reference as their ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’.

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​​CAUNDALISM: When a person exposes his or her partner in a sexually provocative manner.

 

​CHEATING: A type of unethical non-monogamy where a person has multiple sexual or romantic partners that DO NOT all know about each other, or where someone deceptively breaks the rules or agreements of their relationship.

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​CLOSED GROUP SWINGING: A form of swinging in which people will have multiple sexual partners within a specific group (as, for example, two couples who will swap partners), but will not have sex with people outside the group. A closed-group swinging relationship can look very similar to a polyfidelitous relationship from the outside; the primary difference between them often being the focus of the relationship (sexual vs. romantic).

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​CLOSED SWINGING: A practice in which a group of swingers will exchange partners and then have sex separately, usually in separate rooms; swinging without group sex.

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​CUCKCAKE: A cuckcake is the femme presenting or identifying person outside a relationship that has sexual relations, scenes, and/or dynamic with one of the partners. The cuckold or cuckquean can be subjected to implied or direct humiliation, degradation, and sadism by one or both of people involved involved in the scene or dynamic. This can cross over to romantic scenarios such as dates and going to public/private outings together.

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• The cuckcake can be submissive or a Switch to the person they are cucking with and Dominant to the person they are cucking.

• The cuckcake can be Dominant to both people in the couple.

• There are no set rules on whether the cuckcake is a submissive, Switch, or Dominant to one or both people in the couple.

• Cuckcakes can have various designations if involved in a triad, quad, or other polyamorous relationship dynamic where they help cuck more than one partner.

• Sometimes the cuckold or cuckquean is involved romantically, sexually, or platonically in the scene, relationship, and/or dynamic or scene with the cuckcake.

 

​cuckold: A submissive man, often in a committed relationship, who enjoys being “forced” to watch his partner get fucked by another person or multiple people. Cuckolds often enjoy the voyeuristic experience of watching or knowing their partner has had sex with someone else. Cuckolds sometimes enjoy being humiliated, degraded or demeaned by their partners and/or their partner's lovers.

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​CUCKOLDRESS: A woman who may pursue sexual relationships with other people than her partner. Oftentimes she is sexually dominant to her partner and her outside play is to reinforce her dominance. Her partner has full knowledge of her activities.

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​cuckquean: A submissive woman, often in a committed relationship, who enjoys being “forced” to watch her partner fuck another person or multiple people. Cuckqueans often enjoy the voyeuristic experience of watching or knowing their partner has had sex with someone else. Cuckqueans sometimes enjoy being humiliated, degraded or demeaned by their partners and/or their partner's lovers.

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​CUDDLE PARTY: A social gathering of adults which encourages consensual physical affection, such as cuddling, massage, and other forms of physical expression, but which forbids overt sexual activity or sexual stimulation.

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CUPCAKE PARTY: A social gathering, usually involving only women and most often in a private residence, in which a group of people gather to explore their sexuality, discuss sex, experiment with sex toys, and so on.

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​DAISY CHAIN: A social gathering, usually involving only women, in which a group of female participants engage in oral sex in alternating face up/face down positions forming a circle. An individual engaged in a daisy chain will be performing oral sex on one person while receiving oral pleasure from a different person simultaneously. Also referred to as a ring of intertwined bodies.

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DON'T ASK DON'T TELL (DADT): A version of consensual non-monogamy where people in a committed relationship have agreed to open the relationship, but don't want to know the details of their partner's romantic, emotionally intimate and/or sexual interactions with other lovers.

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DOWN TO FUCK (DTF): Refers to when someone is willing to engage in a casual NSA sexual relationship.

 

DRAGON: Bisexual single man who prefers to engage in casual sex with couples in which the male partner is also bisexual for recreational purposes. Dragons typically enjoy MMF threesomes.

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DYAD: Another word for couple. Two people in a relationship are in a dyad or dyadic relationship.

Westernized countries tend to prefer monogamous dyads as their societal norm; it is the most common form of romantic relationship on earth.

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ETHICAL SLUT: A person who openly chooses to have multiple NSA sexual relationships simultaneously in an ethical and responsible way, and who openly revels in that decision.

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FOURSOME: A type of group sex involving four people.

 

​FRIEND WITH BENEFITS (FWB): A friend that you engage in casual sexual activity with but are not in a committed relationship with. A FWB is not a partner or significant other. The benefit is purely sexual in nature.

 

FRIENDS-FIRST SWINGING: A form of swinging in which the people involved DO NOT engage in sexual activities with anonymous or random partners, but instead have sex outside an existing relationship only with other people who are already close friends. In this form of swinging, emotionally intimate bonds can and often do form among all the people involved. This kind of swinging also looks very similar to polyamory, the primary difference between them often being the focus of the relationship (sexual vs. romantic).

 

​​FULL SWAP: When couples swap with penetrative play. When partners full swap it's likely that they'll pair off and focus only on their playmate.

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GANG BANG: A sexual activity in which one person, typically a female, is the central focus of the sexual activity of several male participants, usually more than three, sequentially or simultaneously.

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CENTER: The person who's being fucked by the other participants in a gang bang, referred to as Bangers. Also referred to as the guest of honor.

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BANGERS: The people fucking the center in a gang bang.

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COORDINATOR: The person who sets up the gang bang and makes all of the logistical arrangements. Also referred to as the host.

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MONITOR: A non-participant whose role is to keep an eye on the center and the participants to ensure that all of the rules and safety precautions are being followed.

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FLUFFERS: The people (usually women) who work to keep the participants in an aroused state when they're not actively engaged with the center.

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​GEOGRAPHICAL NON-MONOGAMY: An arrangement within a nominally monogamous dyadic relationship, in which the two partners permit one another to have other sexual partners while they are physically apart for a period of time. For example, a relationship in which one person takes a temporary position in another town or is assigned overseas. Usually carries an implicit understanding that when the couple is physically together again, the relationship will become monogamous.

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GLORYHOLE: A hole in a wall or partition, often between public lavatory (bathroom) stalls or adult video arcade booths, for people to engage in sexual activity or observe the person in the next stall or booth while one or both parties masturbate, tea-bag or fellate. The partition maintains the anonymity and a sense of reassurance that the people involved won't be identified.

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GREEDY GIRL: A woman (or trans woman) who enjoys in engaging in sexual acts with multiple men in one play session, sequentially or simultaneously. This includes women who enjoy participating in MFM threesomes, trains, gang bangs, bukkake, blow bangs, glory holes, etc.

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​GROUP SEX (GS): Sexual activity involving five or more people. See also moresome or orgy.

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​​​GUEST STAR: The person joining a committed dyadic couple for a threesome.

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HOPEFUL:

• A single man who presents himself as a Bull but is secretly HOPING that the female partner in an established relationship develops feelings for him and is willing to break up with her current male partner to pursue a monogamous relationship with him after they hang out and hook up a few times.

• A single man who presents himself as a Dragon but is secretly HOPING that the male partner in an established relationship develops feelings for him and is willing to break up with his current female partner to pursue a monogamous relationship with him after they hang out and hook up a few times.

• A single man who presents himself as a Dragon but is secretly HOPING that the female partner in an established relationship develops feelings for him and is willing to break up with her current male partner to pursue a monogamous relationship with him after they hang out and hook up a few times.

• A single woman who presents herself as a Unicorn but is secretly HOPING that the male partner in an established relationship develops feelings for her and is willing to break up with his current female partner to pursue a monogamous relationship with her after they hang out and hook up a few times.​

• A single woman who presents herself as a Unicorn but is secretly HOPING that the female partner in an established relationship develops feelings for her and is willing to break up with her current male partner to pursue a monogamous relationship with her after they hang out and hook up a few times.

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HOT-HUSBAND: A married man who pursues sexual relationships with women other than his wife. His wife has full knowledge of his activities, consents to them, and gets pleasure from them. A hot-husband is often encouraged by his wife to pursue NSA sexual relationships with other women in pursuit of fulfilling the couple's fantasies.

 

HOT-WIFE: A married woman who pursues sexual relationships with men other than her husband. Her husband has full knowledge of her activities, consents to them, and gets pleasure from them. A hot-wife is often encouraged by her husband to pursue NSA sexual relationships with other men in pursuit of fulfilling the couple's fantasies.

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HUNDRED-MILE RULE: An arrangement within a nominally monogamous relationship, particularly a marriage in which one of the partners travels a great deal or is often away from home for extended periods of time, which says that sexual dalliances that occur during the course of these travels or over a certain distance from the home don’t “really” count and hence aren’t cheating.

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HYBRID RELATIONSHIP: is one in which committed couples mutually agree that one partner will be monogamous and one partner will be non-monogamous.

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INDOOR SPORTS: Refers to swinging activities, including but not limited to: threesomes, couple swaps, group sex and gangbangs.

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KEY PARTY: A type of couples only Swingers party where all of the men put their car keys into a bowl or bag and at a designated time during the party, the women blindly select a set of keys to determine who she will spend time with for the rest of the party.

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KITTY BASH: A Lifestyle or Swinger party where the party-goers are mostly female.

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LOVE TRIANGLE: A ROMANTIC Rivalry involving three people in which two people are pursuing or involved in a romantic relationship with one person, or in which one person in a romantic relationship with someone is simultaneously pursuing or involved in a romantic relationship with someone else.

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MONOGAMISH RELATIONSHIP: A relationship in which committed couples are primarily monogamous but have an open relationship and allow varying degrees of romantic, emotionally intimate and/or sexual contact with others during periods of physical separation.

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MORESOME: A type of group sex involving five or more people. See also group sex or orgy.

 

​NO STRINGS ATTACHED (NSA): A casual sexual encounter.

 

​​NON-EXCLUSIVE MONOGAMY: Related to any relationship involving exactly two people, whereby each of the two is permitted to have sex with others outside the relationship but may neither marry nor conduct romantic or emotionally intimate relationships with anyone outside the relationship.

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OPEN RELATIONSHIP: A term which describes a semi-committed relationship wherein the parties want to be together but agree that it’s acceptable to see other people. Related to any relationship involving exactly two people, whereby each of the two is permitted to conduct romantic, emotionally intimate and/or sexual relationships with others outside the relationship.

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OPEN SWINGING: A practice in which a group of swingers will exchange partners and then have sex together in the same room; sometimes but not always involves group sex. 

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ONE PENIS POLICY (OPP): A type of consensual non-monogamy where the penis having partner has decided that the relationship can be open, but only to women, making their penis the only penis in the relationship.

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ORGY: Five or more consenting persons engaging in sexual activity in the same place over the same period of time. See also group sex or moresome.

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PARALLEL PLAY: Of or related to two (or more) couples or groups having sex in the same room, without members from one couple or group having sexual contact with members of another couple or group. Also referred to as Soft Swinging.

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PARAMOUR: Refers to a married person’s outside lover; mistress—the unmarried female lover of a married man; or a nonmarried member of a polyamorous relationship.​

PLAY PARTY: A Lifestyle party with an emphasis on shared sexual activity or experience. In the Swing subset, culture and community it is a party that guests attend for the purpose of engaging in casual sex for recreation.

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REVERSE GANG BANG: A sexual activity in which one person, typically a male, is the central focus of the sexual activity of several female participants, usually more than three, sequentially or simultaneously.

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SAME ROOM SEX: Refers to when committed couples swap and play in the same room.

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SAUSAGE FEST: A Lifestyle or Swinger party where the party-goers are mostly male.

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SEPARATE ROOM SEX: Refers to when committed couples swap and play in separate rooms.

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SOFT SWAP: When committed couples swap without penetrative play but engage in foreplay and other sexy acts such as kissing, caressing, massaging and oral sex.

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​STAG: A person who enjoys watching, arranging, thinking of, and/or participating in their partner's sexual relationships with others. The stag is the dominant partner and remains dominant when others are involved. A stag finds sexual gratification in allowing and even encouraging his partner (VIXEN) to have NSA sexual relationships with other people in pursuit of fulfilling the couple's fantasies.

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SWAPPERS: Couples who engage in consensual sex with other couples for recreational purposes.

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SWAYERS: Couples who only cross their "vanilla" boundaries to engage in the swinging lifestyle for short periods of time, as to reap the benefits of the sex-positive community without committing to swinging as a way of life. For example, a couple who swings when they're on a BAEcation or swap when there's a special occasion (eg. birthday, anniversary, etc.).

 

SWINGLE: A heterosexual single person who engages in consensual sex with other single people and couples for recreational purposes. Swingles typically enjoy FMF or MFM threesomes. Also referred to as Swinging Singles.

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SWINGERS: Couples who engage in consensual sex with both other couples and single people for recreational purposes.

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SWINGING: A sexual practice defined as having multiple sexual partners outside of an established relationship. People who swing are meant to avoid developing romantic or emotional attachments to their sexual partners. Couples will often engage in swinging as a couple and attend swinging events/ parties together.

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THREESOME: A casual SEXUAL Activity that is commonly understood as a sexual interaction between three people whereby at least one individual engages in physical sexual behavior with both the other individuals.

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• MMF is a threesome with two bisexual men and a woman.

• MFM is a threesome with two heterosexual men and a woman.

• FFM is a threesome with two bisexual women and a man.

• FMF is a threesome with two heterosexual women and a man.

 

UNICORN: Bisexual single woman who engages in consensual sex with couples in which the female partner is also bisexual. Unicorns typically enjoy being the Guest Star in FFM threesomes.

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VIXEN: A person who may have sexual relationships with people other than their partner with their partner's approval and potential involvement. The Vixen is the submissive partner but may be dominant to others. A vixen finds sexual gratification in and is encouraged by her dominant partner (STAG) to pursue NSA sexual relationships with other men in pursuit of fulfilling the couple's fantasies.